Starting Fresh, Mission: Help an Angel Survive!
by Ocytavia
Summary: So far, I’ve been on a grand total of 12 harrowing missions, the most recent of which involving saving the world! But what's going to happen next? Now there's a new angel in heaven who can't tell good from bad, and she needs some serious help!
1. Chapter 1

When I was a human, I thought life was unbelievably hard and unfair on me. I mean, why was it that some kids got all the new stuff and latest fashions, and I got stuck wearing last years style that my mum bought from the bargain rack? And then there were the kids who were naturally smart, and found school easy, when I had trouble staying awake through a period?

Looking back, I now know how good I really had it. I had a house, plenty of food and a loving family. Yet, even now, I still find myself feeling sorry for myself. I mean, I'm in HEAVEN and I'm still so selfish.

Truth be told, when I got hit by a joy-rider and ended up in heaven with an angelic scholarship, I thought there had been a big cosmic mix-up. Really, me? An angel? The ditz air-head who had complained about not getting to watch her favourite TV shows while people in other countries were starving? Who would've seen me and though _angel material_?

But someone obviously saw the hidden potential inside me. And I'm talking about v. hidden potential, because I didn't even know it was there!

Now, I have an even better life in heaven with my friends, including my best friend (and soul mate) and my boyfriend, both who I never would have met if I hadn't died at such a young age. You see, Lola (Lollie to her friends) comes from a place 100 years my future, and Reuben actually grew up in the sparkly atmosphere of heaven. In fact, before Reubs met me and Lollie, he had never even been to earth!

Then there's Brice.

Before I talk about him, though, I have to explain the war. There is this HUGE was that is going on every second of every minute of every day. Want to know what we're fighting over? You.

The Opposition/Powers of Darkness (the bad guys, basically) want you to go through life feeling like nothing really matters and that life is meaningless. But the Agency (aka the good guys) wants to wake people up and show them there is more to life than just being there. Everyone is put on earth for a reason, and us angels are there to remind you.

Brice is a little more than complicated. I first met him one my first troubleshooting mission to earth. Back then, Brice was working for the bad guys, but I managed to beat him by pure fluke. I ran into Brice again when me, Reubs and Lollie travelled to Tudor England, and Brice gave Reubs such a savage beating that we had to beam him back to heaven.

The creepy thing was, Brice wasn't always a bad guy. He started out as an angel himself, but issues with Brice's evil family turned him to the dark side. With a little cosmic assistance, Brice was able to overcome this and is now working for the good guys.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't forgive Brice straight away. Funnily enough, Reuben seemed to think it was all water under the bridge. Being a pure angel, things like holding a grudge are completely foreign to Reubs. But still, you wouldn't trust someone who tried to destroy you straight away, would you?

I have to admit that I was very alarmed when I discovered that Lola and Brice were an item, and it didn't help things when, on our mission to Jamaica, both Lollie and Brice suffered from cosmic amnesia, and Lola had completely forgotten me. But I'm an angel, and I coped. We managed to survive the ordeal and actually won a HALO award!

Brice has been through a lot to work his way up to be a respectable angel now, and I have to admit he's definitely grown on me, especially since he helped out with my friends during a complicated mission. Technically, Brice and I were working on two different missions, but as it turned out, they were actually cosmically connected to create one big mission, and one of the most difficult and personal missions of my angelic life.

So far, I've been on a grand total of 12 harrowing missions, the most recent of which involving saving the world! My most recent mission has actually made me stop and take more time to think about my beautiful blue-green planet and its future. I mean, now it was up to us angels to wake up all humans and get them to repair their little planet. But I couldn't help thinking; what if we can't?

What will happen if we don't succeed? Will the earth die? What will happen after that? What will we do next?

Little did I know as I though about these questions, someone else had already thought about them. Somebody who would very soon need my help.


	2. Chapter 2

My day started with the usual routine. Me and Lollie got up and both went for a jog along the beach, followed by a healthy breakfast and our favourite hangout, Guru. Then we raced back to our dorms to shower and dress and then it was off to school. Lessons went as usual, and I might have even learnt something if Reubs hadn't kept distracting me by playfully tugging at my hair the whole time.

After school, I went down to the nursery school to help out Mrs. Dove. It was Wednesday, which meant private study time. We didn't actually study anything, but we did our own personal thing to connect us to everything in the universe. Lollie goes to the beach to sing, and Reubs works on his martial arts. I work with the little tots at the pre-school, who are unimaginably wise for such young angels.

Recently, going to the pre-school has been making me a little depressed. Not so long ago, I went on a mission to deliver a baby Buddha to some monks in India. But the little Buddha wasn't just some random kid; he was my favourite little pre-schooler. Obi and I shared a special connection that I didn't have with any of the other little ones. Now that he was gone, there didn't seem much point going back to the pre-school.

I still went though, and I'm glad I did. Mrs Dove quickly worked out there was something up, and knew it was about Obi. She planned for all the pre-schoolers to each give me a hug and special attention.

"Obi isn't really gone," Millie told me brightly. "We're still connected to him through the Link!"

I felt so silly. Pre-school angels know more than I do. I hadn't really lost Obi, we were still divinely connected and we always would be. Knowing this made me feel heaps better.

After helping out at the pre-school, I planned to go home and have a mad study session with Lollie before putting on our dancing shoes and heading over to the Babylon. Unfortunately, before I could even reach my dorm, I heard the familiar beeping of my pager.

By the time I got to the Agency, Reubs and Lollie were already there. It seemed that we were going to be going on the same mission. We saw Michael in on the other side of departures, making big gestures while talking to his assistant, Sam. Since the room was so crowded with people, we couldn't hear what he was saying, but it was obvious he was upset. Lollie gave me a confused look, like, What's all this about now? I gave her a look like, I don't know. I'd never seen Michael this worked up. He was usually very clam and serene, like everything was under control.

When Michael spotted us, he swiftly walked over to us, a serious but concerned look in his eyes. "I'm glad you could all come. We've a got bit of a situation on our hands here."

"What kind of situation?" Lollie asked curiously.

"A… complicated one." Michael looked around the departures, and then back at us. "Come with me."

Michael led us across the room, through the masses of angels waiting to be sent to the troubled areas on earth, to a small door I hadn't seen before. We stepped inside to find 3 other angels sitting at a small conference like desk. Michael motioned for us to have a seat.

The angels across from us looked much older and more experienced, actual agents and not trainees. The two males glanced at us before turning to address Michael, but the third and only girl in the group continued to stare at me in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. I looked at Michael and tried to ignore her.

Michael picked up a remote and pressed a button. Suddenly, a sepia image of a girl floated above the desk, like a hologram. She had long, dark brown hair that curled a little at the bottom, and large eyes that almost looked like they sparkled. There wasn't anything about her that stood out, but the girl herself seemed to have something special about her that set her apart from everyone else.

"This is Octavia," Michael said, like he was introducing us to her.

"That's a nice name," Lola whispered.

"She's 16 and is in grade 11," Michael continued.

"Was," The older girl angel interrupted. I looked at her.

"What do you mean, _was_?" I asked. Michael sighed.

"A few days ago, she committed suicide." I heard Reuben catch his breath.

"Why?" he asked.

"That's the complicated part," The girl across the table said. I felt annoyed at the girls attitude.

"Who are you?" I asked, frustrated.

"Sorry, I didn't think to introduce anyone." Michael pointed to the angels across from us. "This is Peter, Richard and Tammy. They've already been told about you, and they think you might be able to help."

I wasn't all that surprised that they knew about me, what with me constantly embarrassing myself and making huge mistakes on missions, I'd be surprised to find someone who hadn't heard about me!

"How can we help?" Lollie asked.

"First I think we need a little background information." Michael slid a disk into a DVD player, and an image of Octavia popped up on the screen. She was on a bus, in her school uniform, reading. Michael began narrating.

"Octavia lived in Adelaide, Australia. She went to a private school and seemed to do well there. She has made quite a few friends, despite her strange personality." As it turned out, we were just about to see a snippet of this personality. As the bus pulled into a posh-looking school, Octavia packed her reading material away and jumped off. One of her friends that had just come off a different bus was waiting for her.

"Hi!" Octavia said, quite loudly.

"Hey," The other girl said.

"What's up, Nat?" Octavia asked while doing a little funny walk.

"Not much. You?"

"Same old, same old." Even though these words weren't awfully interesting, Octavia said them like they were the most exciting thing on earth.

"Oh well," Nat said, looking at the ground. Octavia laughed loudly. "What?"

"You're always saying that! 'Oh well.' You do it without even thinking!" They both had a little laugh about that, which Nat ended by saying "Oh well," without meaning to, which started them off again. The girls walked away, chatting.

"She looks happy," Reuben said. "Why did she kill herself?"

"Octavia is incredibly thoughtful," Richard said, as thought it were obvious. "Some might even say she thinks too much. She might appear shallow and silly, and sometimes downright stupid at times, but she's actually really sad."

"Why?" I asked. I mean, who got sad just by thinking?

"She thinks about things that most people ignore. She thinks about all the people who are suffering, and she blames herself for some of it. She's a very deep thinker, so she knows there's more to life than meets the eye, and she knows that everyone has a purpose on earth. But she doesn't understand why she's there, and she feels like she's only ever making a negative influence."

"She's been a suicide risk for a long time," Michael said with a sigh. "Which is why we assigned her 3 guardian angels." I looked at the angels across the desk, and it suddenly occurred to me that _these_ were Octavia's GA's. "The thing is, we never thought she'd do it. She was always torturing herself with the amount of pain she caused others, and she always believed that killing herself would just make people hurt more."

"There were nights she would stay up crying, asking why she was alive, why we let so many people suffer. She asked so many questions we just couldn't answer." Richard sounded like he was suffering himself.

"At one point, a point where she was at her lowest, she sent us away," Peter said, sounding ashamed. I stared at him, gobsmacked.

"She sent you away?" I asked. "How?"

"She knew we were there," Tammy stated in a bored voice. "She said we would be of better use helping someone who needed us more."

I was amazed. This girl actually _sensed _her angels. She had _spoken_ to them!

"Turns out leaving her was the worst thing we could have done." Peter sounded achingly close to tears. "As soon as we left, the Opposition got to her. They put the thought into her head that she would only continue hurting people the longer she stayed here. They made her believe that she would hurt more people if she kept living, and that killing herself was the only way to stop it." Peter put his head in his hands, and Richard patted his back. I turned to Michael.

"She was important, wasn't she?" I asked. "I mean, the Agency had something big planned for her, and the opposition knew, didn't they? I mean, they wouldn't just target her for no reason, right?"

"We did have big plans for her, which was why she required so much cosmic attention." Michael looked towards the screen, where Octavia was now sitting in a group of her friends, laughing her loud laugh. "She was a gifted writer. She had so many stories to tell, stories that would help people. Stories that would make people believe in themselves again."

"Stories with the ability to wake up humans," Reuben added. Michael nodded.

"Why didn't you just stay with her?" Lollie asked. Richard shook his head.

"It's not that easy. You can't mess with a person's free-will. And she wasn't going to let up, either. She kept asking us to leave, and we couldn't stay. We thought we would only make it worse if we stayed, that we'd make her feel more guilty."

"So," I cleared my throat. "What are we going to do now?"


	3. Chapter 3

The Soul Retrieval chamber was just as empty and quite as I remembered it. I clutched Reuben's hand as we entered, and he gave is a reassuring squeeze. I remembered the first and only other Soul Retrieval mission I'd been on. Reuben and I were forced to follow a girl through a game-like limbo to save her life. This time it was different, though. This time, the girl was already dead.

I heard Lola swallow. It was her first time in the SR chambers. "She wasn't supposed to die yet, was she?"

"No," Michael answered. He paused before continuing. "We aren't quite sure where she is, but we're afraid she might have wandered into the hell dimensions."

I swallowed hard. "The hell dimensions?" I heard my voice go squeaky.

"I would have asked Brice to come with you, but he was tied up with his own mission. I'm sure you guys will be able to handle this." Michael smiled, and for a moment, everything felt like it was going to be fine. I turned to Richard, Peter and Tammy. Tears hovered in Peter's eyes, and I could see how much this meant to him.

"Are you guys coming?" I asked in a shaky voice. Peter shook his head. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Tammy sighed a bored sigh.

"We're not allowed to follow her. Once a human soul banishes you, you can't help it again unless it asks you to."

"Oh." I felt for Peter, but Tammy was really getting on my nerves. It was as if she didn't even care about this girl.

Then we each stepped into the little energy filled tanks, and the creepy count down began flashing up on the screen. I began singing our personal theme tune in my head, but soon heard Lola singing it out loud. Reuben was also singing, so I joined it, even though my voice sounds like a little cartoon animal.

Suddenly, I could feel my particles melting away, like I was evaporating and just turning into air. It was a very free sort of feeling, until suddenly I felt something underneath myself.

"Ow."

I looked around to see Lollie sitting a few meters away from me. She looked at me, stunned. "That was weird!"

"I know," I told her calmly, like I did this sort of thing every day when, in reality, I'd only done it once before. Reuben suddenly appeared next to Lola. He looked around.

"Well," he said, almost with a hint of humour. "This is different."

I certainly was different. Last time Reubs and I went on a SR mission, we travelled through world like lands, which seemed very realistic. This place was just darkness, as though everything had been sucked out of it except us. There wasn't even really a ground. We just kind of floated, as if in space.

We managed to get in a sort of standing position. As we examined our new environment, Lola spotted something. She pointed at a little dot in the distance.

"What's that?" She asked. I shrugged. "Well, we should probably head towards it. It seems like the only other thing here."

We managed to slowly float towards the little dot. As we got closer, it became obvious what it was. We stopped a fair distance away from it.

"That's her, isn't it?" Reuben whispered, as though scared to use a regular voice in this place. Lola and I nodded. She was curled up in a foetal position, barely visible.

"What do we do?" Lola asked.

"Well," I said, not really sure myself. "I suppose we go up to her." It was the only thing we could do.

When we got to her, we stopped. It occurred to me that we had absolutely no idea what to do. So I just improvised.

"Hi," I said in my most cheerful voice. Octavia's eyes flickered to me, and then turned back to the floor.

"What do you want?" Her voice was so quite that I almost thought I'd just imagined hearing it.

"Uh, we want to help you," I said, rather pathetically. Well, what else was I suppose to say?

"I don't deserve help. Just go away." Octavia shut her eyes, as if we were a figment of her imagination, and she was trying to banish us.

"But-" I was cut off.

"Go away!"

I looked at Lola and Reuben, but they looked just as lost as I was. We decided we would leave her for a while, and try and think of what to do next.

"I didn't think it would be so easy to find her," Reuben said, like the finding was the hardest part.

"I didn't think it would be this hard to talk to her," I said in an annoyed voice. I mean, how can you help someone who doesn't want to be helped?

"Well, we have to find a way to get her to come back with us," Lola said firmly.

"How are we supposed to do that?" My voice sounded meaner than I meant it to. Lola looked at me.

"I don't know," she said. An awkward pause followed.

"I'm going to see if I can contact the Agency," Reuben said, and he half walked, half floated away. Lola sighed.

"What is it?" I asked her.

"I was just thinking about that girls GA's. It's kind of sad that she just rejected them like that."

"Yeah, I know," I said. "But do you get the feeling that Tammy didn't really care?"

"Kind of," Lola said uncertainly. "But she must have cared at some point. I mean, why would she be Octavia's GA if she didn't care?"

"I suppose. She doesn't seem to care now though. I feel sorry for Peter though. He obviously cares about her."

"I know what you mean. Poor guy." Lola gave me a funny look. "Don't you get the feeling he cares a little too much?" She asked. I shook my head.

"I don't get you, Lollie. What do you mean he cares too much?"

"I just thought it was a little weird, that's all." Lola started twiddling her hair, as if sort of embarrassed. I was just about to say something when Reuben came hovering back to us.

"Ok, we have a game plan, but it isn't a nice one." Reuben looked a little worried.

"What are we going to do?" Lollie asked.

"We have to make her think that she'll be hurting someone unless she goes with us."

I stared at him, horrified. "What?"

Lola looked the same as I felt. "That's like blackmail!" she shouted.

"I know it's not very nice, but I don't think she'll come with us any other way." Reuben didn't look to happy about it either.

"Have we tried any other way?" I asked.

"We don't really have any other way to try," Reuben replied. Lola and I sighed. He was right; there was really no other option. Clearly the Agency thought that way as well, or they wouldn't have suggested it.

"Well," Lollie said. "Lets get it over with."

We made our way back over to Octavia, who was in the exact same position as we'd left her in. Reuben, Lola and I looked at each other. Reuben was the first to speak up.

"You have to come with us, Octavia," he said sternly, as if talking to a misbehaving child.

"No, I don't. You can't force me to do anything." Octavia rolled around, so she had her back to us.

"You're hurting people by staying here," I said as gently as possible. Those words got a major reaction.

Octavia sat up and spun around to face us all in one swift and angry movement. She glared directly at me. "How could I possibly be hurting people here? There is nobody here that I could hurt! I've hurt enough people and I'm finished with it. This is the only place where I can stop hurting people."

I was absolutely shocked by this outburst. I didn't know how to respond. Luckily, Lola did that for me.

"You're hurting your angels."

Octavia moved her angry gaze to Lola. "I didn't ask for angels, and I don't want angels. If they want to pain themselves because of me, that's their own problem!"

"You can stop people from hurting, Octavia." Reuben was still using his stern telling-off voice. "You can help your angels and other people who are hurting if you come with us."

Octavia turned to stare at Reuben, and Reuben stared back. Then he smiled at her, his special Sweetpea smile. Slowly, Octavia's angry expression changed, and tears began to roll down her face. She curled back up into a ball and started sobbing.

Acting on instinct, Lola and I rushed up to her and tried to comfort her, but she just moaned for us to go away. After a while, we just left her as she was. It doesn't help to be around someone who doesn't want you there.

"What are we supposed to do now?" I asked

"Nothing," Reuben replied. I stared at him.

"Nothing? Reubs, she emotionally unstable!"

"Reuben's right," Lola said in a small voice. "We've got to let her come to terms with this herself."

"So, what, we just wait?" I said sarcastically. Reuben nodded.

"We just wait."

I have no idea how long we waited there. It could have been hours, or days. Maybe it was just a few minutes. It was impossible to tell. We tried to pass the time by talking, but there isn't much to talk about when you're in a dark abyss. Eventually, Octavia stopped sobbing, stood up and came over to us.

"I'm sorry," She said, and looked as though she meant it. Her eyes were still puffed up and red from crying. "I was really rude before. I really do want to help you guys." She smiled, but it was a forced smile.

I really did feel for her, and she was obviously suffering a lot. I tried to give her a hug to try to make her feel better, but she shrunk away with a shiver. She gave me a strange look. "Sorry," she said. "I'm uncomfortable with… touching."

Lola and I exchanged glances. I'd never known anyone who was uncomfortable with hugging. I mean, Lola and I hug all the time, and it's never seemed weird or uncomfortable. But Reuben didn't seem phased by this at all.

"Come on," He said, offering his hand and smiling his special Sweetpea smile. Nobody could resist that smile. Octavia hesitated slightly before taking his hand. "We're ready," Reuben whispered. There was a flash as we zoomed back to heaven.


	4. Chapter 4

It wasn't a nice scene to see Octavia in a hospital bed at the Sanctuary. She just stared at the ceiling most days. Sometimes she would make shadows on the wall with her hands. But she didn't ever say anything.

It had been 3 weeks since our retrieval mission, and Octavia hadn't gotten any better. In fact, she might have actually gotten worse. The Sanctuary staff said that Octavia suffered intense cosmic poisoning from the PODs, and even they thought her chances of recovery were slim.

When we arrived back in Heaven, I thought the hardest part was over. But as soon as Octavia saw the faces of her guardian angels, she completely freaked out. She kept screaming for them to stay away, and she ended up curled up and crying by the end of it.

_Poor Peter_ I thought. His face had looked so happy when he saw Octavia, but then turned pale when she had started screaming. He had tried to rush up to her, but Richard and Tammy stopped him, and literally had to drag him away.

Ever since then, he'd been watching Octavia through the one way window of her Sanctuary room. He had tried to go in at first, but she started screaming again as soon as she saw him. I had visited her a couple of times, but she had never reacted to anything I'd said.

Peter said the only time she ever did anything was when Michael came to talk to her. Even then, she hadn't said much. I didn't really know who I felt more sorry for: Octavia with her PODs poisoning, or Peter, who looked like he hadn't slept in days. He probably hadn't slept since Octavia came to the Sanctuary. I began to see what Lola had meant when she said Peter seemed to care for Octavia a little too much.

"I think he's in love with her," I said to Lola and Reuben one day.

"Who's in love with who?" Reuben asked.

"Peter's in love with Octavia," I said. Lola gave me a pained expression.

"I know. It's just sad that she's too intoxicated to know who are the good guys and who are the bad guys." Suddenly, Lola's face lit up. "Brice!" She jumped up and ran to give him a hug, and then they both came to sit down.

"How was your trip?" I asked him, even though I wasn't really interested.

"Pretty boring." Brice was still in his mission clothes and badly needed a shower, but he didn't seem to notice. "What have you guys been up to?"

"Oh, we just saved a lost soul," Lola announced, like the mission had been a big success.

"I seriously unstable soul," I told him.

"Oh, that's right. That Octavia girl down at the Sanctuary." Brice gave an all knowing nod.

"How do you know that?" I asked. "You only got back 5 minutes ago!"

"I have my ways," Brice said with a grin. "What's the deal with her?"

"Basically, she been badly poisoned," I said. Reuben looked thoughtful.

"I think it's more than that," he said.

"How do you mean?" Lola asked.

"Well, she's always been a deep thinker, and she thinks that she hurts people just by being around them. So maybe she thinks that she can stop hurting people if she doesn't get close to anyone."

I nodded. "That makes sense."

"But what about Peter?" Lollie asked.

"Who's Peter?" Brice asked. I sighed.

"Peter's Octavia's old GA who we think is in love with her, but she keeps freaking out every time she sees him."

"She probably recognises him," Brice said. I looked at him, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if he was her GA then she would have gotten to know his vibe."

"But that should be a good thing," I said. "Shouldn't it?"

"Well, in theory, yes. But when you're being blasted with PODs toxins constantly, and then being hit by angel vibes, how are you going to feel?"

"Confused," Reuben and Lola said at the same time.

"That's right," Brice said. "Whenever Octavia was around Peter, she would feel confused, and before he came it wasn't, and after he left it wasn't. Maybe she just doesn't want to feel confused again."

"This is all very complicated," I said, my head spinning.

"Well," Brice said with a smile. "She's a complicated girl."


	5. Chapter 5

I didn't get to see Octavia for the next few days. As a part of Mr. Albright's study on human prejudice, he's been making us go on quite a few v. depressing time periods. He had been on about this subject for quite a while, and I was getting quite fed up with humans and their stubbornness. I mean, how would they like to be treated like they weren't actually humans?

So when we got back from Australia during the times of the stolen generation, everyone was absolutely drained. We all needed a good shower and long sleep, but the essay on the time period was due the next day, which meant hours of extra study plus actually writing the thing!

So, after a quick stop off at the library, I headed back to my dorm. Lola and I had intended to put in a group effort on this assignment, but she had a recital to go to first. I would have to start by myself, and Lollie would have to catch up later.

I was literally dragging my feet by the time I got to my dorm, when suddenly someone popped their head out of the room on the other side of Lola's room. I nearly dropped my books in shock. It was Octavia!

She gave me a small smile, but all I could do was stare. She was the one who finally broke the silence.

"Hi," she said quietly.

"Um, hi," I said pathetically. "Um… When did you… when did you get out of… the Sanctuary?"

"Yesterday," Octavia said, smiling. "I don't remember much about it actually." Octavia's face looked slightly pained. "I just wanted to say thank you… for saving me. I never did thank you."

"Well, your welcome," I said. I was still slightly in shock.

"I've been told I wasn't exactly grateful…" She gave an apologetic look. I shook my head.

"It's fine. I was happy to help."

"Ok." There was a bit of a pause before Octavia continued. "Well, I'd better go. See you around."

"Bye," I replied as she closed the door.

I let myself into my room, but the reality of the situation still hadn't hit home. I sat on the edge of my bed for a while, considering what Octavia had said. _I don't remember much…_ she'd said. What exactly had she remembered, or forgotten for that matter?

Did she remember being in Limbo? Did she remember coming to heaven? Screaming at her guardian angels? Did she remember anything?

Just then I heard a knock at the door. I got up to open it, but Lollie came flying through before I could even turn the knob. She grabbed my hand and sat down on my small bed, dragging me alone with her. She looked flustered and excited.

"You'll never guess who's living next door!" She exclaimed excitedly.

"Octavia," I replied. Her face dropped.

"Who told you?"

"Actually, I was just talking to her a few moments ago." I patted Lola's hand. She had wanted to break the news to me, but I had burst her bubble.

"What did she say to you?" Lola asked, suddenly cheerful again.

"Just thanks…"

"That's all she said to me too." Lollie sighed. "That girl is a mystery."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, I saw her earlier at Guru. That's when I talked to her and found out that she was staying next door. Anyway, Peter was sitting, like, a table away, and she didn't even notice."

"She didn't notice him at all?" I was shocked that Octavia wouldn't recognise the person that sent her into hysterics.

"Not at all," Lola replied. "And he was staring at her with a worried expression the whole time. She didn't even notice when he accidentally bumped her when he walked past."

"Wow," I said. "That's weird."

"I know!" He eyes narrowed. "I kind of get the feeling that she's blocking out things."

"I know what you mean," I said. "Before, when I was talking to her, she said she couldn't remember much. Maybe she's purposely forgetting. But why?"

"I don't know." Lollie shook her head. "But you know what Brice said. She's a complicated girl!"

*

I didn't see Octavia for a few days after that. It was Tuesday by the time I saw her again. Reuben and I had planned to go out to a really cute diner called Taffy's. I'd never been there before, but he assured me they had good food and excellent hot chocolates.

I saw Octavia as soon as I walked in. She was chatting away to another angel boy who looked very familiar. It was only when I got a proper look at him that I noticed it was Orlando. They seemed to be having a very animated conversation.

As I watched them, I noticed that Octavia had improved quite a lot since she first arrived. She even had a sparkle in her eyes now. I was almost proud of her, but I still got the feeling that there was something wrong below the surface. She appeared to be recovered and happy, but there was something invisible lurking below, waiting for the right moment to surface.

Reuben noticed my distraction and sighed. "You know, I'm worried about her too," He said, patting my hand. "But she not our responsibility anymore. We got her this far, now she has to take the lead. She's starting fresh, and she'll be fine."

I smiled at Reubs, but before I could reply Lola and Brice rushed through the door, laughing and filling the quite café with noise.

"Hi!" Lola said, pulling up a chair across from mine. Brice sat next to her.

"We were in the neighbourhood, and we thought we'd just drop by," Brice said casually. I groaned.

"Are we never going to get any time to ourselves?" I let my head fall on Reuben's shoulder, and he chuckled. He began twiddling with my hair.

But Lola was distracted by something else. "Hey, is that Peter over there?" she asked. I lifted my head to look.

Peter looked horrible. He looked as if someone had just sucked all the life out of him, yet he was still holding on, like a drowning person clutching to a straw. Dark shadows like huge smudges hovered under his hollow eyes. He was much too skinny, and looked horribly close to falling apart. Just the sight of him made my skin crawl.

"Looks like he's having a hard time," Brice said empathetically.

"We should probably go say something to him," I suggested. Everyone nodded, so we headed over.

"Hey, Peter," Reuben said as he slid into the chair next to Peter. He looked quite vague, his eyes glazed over with worry. He barely seemed to register that we'd invited ourselves to his table.

"We know something's up with you, Peter," Brice said, as if interrogating a criminal. Lola gave him a withering look.

"We're just worried about you," she said softly.

"You should probably get some sleep," I told him. He shook his head.

"I have to watch over her," he said in a zombie-like tone.

"Octavia is safe now," Reuben said firmly. "You don't need to watch her anymore."

"But I'm her guardian… have to stay with her." Peter looked as if he was falling asleep at the table. Reuben gave him a small shake to keep him awake.

"You don't have to protect her anymore," He told Peter.

"Now go. Sleep," Lola told him. "You're no good to anyone in your state."

Strangely enough, this was enough to convince him that he needed to go. He got up and left his half eaten muffin, practically sleep walking. Brice sighed.

"I'd better go make sure he gets back alright," he said. He followed the sleepy angel out, and we breathed a sigh of relief. At least that was one issue taken care of. We didn't have to worry about Peter getting upset about Octavia anymore.

Just at that moment, Star walk through the door. She waved at Orlando, but stopped dead when she saw Octavia with her. There was a moment that seemed like time had stopped, before Star exploded into life again.

"Who's this?" she asked angrily.

"This is my new friend, Octavia," Orlando began calmly. "Octavia, this is-" Star cut him off.

"So this is why you couldn't meet me at work?" Star yelled. "Because you were meeting with her?"

I groaned. Just when we had one problem involving Octavia solved, another one erupts. She really was one complicated girl!


	6. Chapter 6

The café had fallen into silence. Everyone was watching Star, Orlando and Octavia. Star's face had turned red from anger, and Orlando was blushing as red as a tomato. Octavia was inching herself further away, as if she wished she could just turn invisible.

Star suddenly turned on her heels, and marched out of the place fuming. Orlando quickly got up and rushed after her, leaving Octavia all alone at the table. She looked awkward, like she didn't know if she should stay or leave.

Without saying anything, we all got up and made our way to her table. Once we sat down again, the café returned to its usual quiet chattering. Octavia seemed very relieved that we had taken the heat off her.

"Thanks," she said quietly.

"Don't worry about it," I told her. "How are you?"

"I'm good." She smiled a little. "I'm still not quite use to this place… I didn't expect it to be like this." She looked away to the window, deep in thought.

"Well, nobody really knows what something going to be like until they get there themselves." Lola patted Octavia's hand, which she subconsciously jerked away. Lola pretended to not notice, but I saw the hurt in her eyes.

"So, you've met some new people, I see," I said carefully, trying to change the subject. Octavia smiled her small, sad smile.

"Not really. I mean, Orlando introduced himself the other day, but apart from him and you guys, I don't know anyone here." She gave Brice a strange once-over, and I realized she hadn't actually met him.

"Oh," I said, embarrassed. "This is Brice. He's..." I found myself at a loss trying to explain Brice. He smirked.

"I'm pleased to meet you," he put in politely.

"It's nice to meet you too," Octavia said. "Well, I'd better get the library. I've got lots of catching up to do if I want to pass the entry exam." She picked up her bag and gave a little wave. "See you."

Reuben, Lola, Brice and I watched her leave. Brice had a concerned look on his face. I gave him a questioning look.

"She's blocking," he said blatantly.

"What do you mean?" Lola asked.

"She's blocking her energy. Everything's been rushed up on her, and everything she's ever known is conflicting. It's too hard for her to figure out what's going on, so she's just blocked almost everything out."

"Like an energy block?" I asked. "Cody had a major energy block. She blocked out such a huge part of herself, because it was easier than facing it." I was referring to my last Guardian Angel module, where I had to help this girl who had retreated into herself. Reuben nodded.

"It's like it's too hard for her to face herself, so she's just concentrating on surviving." Reuben shook his head, making his baby dreads whip around his face.

"But I thought only human's did that," Lola said. "Earth is such a hard and confusing place to live in, but here there is a constant reminder of how magical everything and everyone is. How could she not be affected by this?"

"I think that that is one of the reasons she's retreated," Brice replied. "She obviously didn't think she belonged on earth, and I get the feeling she doesn't feel right being here either."

"Like she feels like she doesn't deserve to be here," Reuben said quietly. I stared at him.

"That's stupid. Nobody deserves to suffer," I said.

"But people still do," Brice said harshly. "And she probably believes that people who don't deserve to suffer do suffer way too much. Yet she doesn't." He looked directly at me. "Octavia is a person who believes everyone should be given equal opportunity. It hurts her to know that so many are suffering when they could be given a better future if people actually started to give a damn!"

I was shocked at his sudden outburst, and also slightly hurt. "How do you know so much about her?" I asked suspiciously.

"I just know people like her, that's all."

I could see that Brice was still fuming. I remembered when Brice convinced Lollie and me to sign up for a joint HALO award. He and Lollie had suffered cosmic amnesia, yet Brice still felt that he had an important mission to complete. He planned to set lots of slaves free, because of the injustice that had been brought upon them by white men. Brice didn't just know people who were like Octavia, he was like her himself!

Lola softly patted his hand. "Maybe you could help her," she said. "You two obviously have a lot in common." Brice sighed.

"I'll see what I can do."

***

"That girl and I have absolutely nothing in common!" Brice said as he came storming through Lola's door, almost making me drop the open bottle of nail varnish. Lola gave a sympathetic look.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I mean, we have nothing in common. She's a total goodie-two-shoes! And she likes classical music, and her favourite colour is yellow. She and I are complete opposites!"

"And this is a problem because?" I asked.

"She's so freaking annoying!" he shouted.

"I though opposites were suppose to get along," I said to Lola.

"That's opposites attract, darling, though it usually only happen to magnets." Brice sat down on Lollie's bed, looking a little tired and defeated.

"What did she say?" Lola asked him.

"Well, first I just asked her about her interests and stuff. Then I asked her what she thought about humans, and she completely exploded. I don't really remember a lot of what she said, just that she thinks all humans are greedy and have ruined their world. She was really angry."

"But humans didn't mean for it to turn out like that," I said. "I mean, you can't hate all of humanity."

"Well, she does. She thinks that humans hurt each other and their planet on purpose." Brice put his head in his hands. Suddenly, we could all hear muffled music. Rock music, and it was coming from Octavia's room. I gave Brice a comical look.

"That doesn't sound like classical to me."

He gave me a withering look. Lola had a concentrating expression on her face. She turned to us. "Can you hear that?"

"Hear what? The music?" Lola shook her head.

"Shhh, listen."

As it turned out, there was a sound that the loud music was trying to hide. It sounded like crying. I gave Lola a worried look.

"Should we go see if we can help?" I whispered. Lola nodded. We quietly got up and walked next door. Lola knocked on the door. The music and the crying stopped, but Octavia didn't open the door. We looked at each other. Lola knocked again.

"Hello?" I called out. "Octavia?"

There was no answer.

"Octavia, are you ok? Can we come in?" Still no answer.

We waited a little, but Octavia wasn't coming out, and obviously wasn't letting us in. I shrugged, and we walked back to Lola's room. After a few minutes, we heard Octavia's door slam and hurried footsteps as she rushed away. Lola and I looked at each other, worried, but there was nothing we could do.

Sometimes you need to be alone.


	7. Chapter 7

**I almost didn't want to publish this chapter, because I had exactly 7,999 words in this story so far. It made me feel special. Oh well, the show (or rather, story) must go on! Lights, camera and action!  
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The next day was Wednesday, which meant that I got to help out at the nursery school after school. Wednesday afternoons meant personal study time, which isn't actually studying. It just means doing what you do best; doing something that makes you happy. All the time I was walking to the nursery school I wondered if Octavia had anywhere to go on Wednesdays, and if it might help her if she did.

As it turns out, she did have somewhere to go.

The first thing I saw when I got to the nursery was Octavia. She was leaning against a tree with her hands covering her eyes. I felt a pang of sympathy, thinking that she was upset or crying. Suddenly, she spun around and screamed "Ready or not, here I come!"

I realised that she was playing hide and seek with the tots, and I instantly felt relieved. This, I'm ashamed to say, was closely followed by jealousy. I mean, I was the one who helped out at the nursery; this was my special contribution to the universe! And here Octavia was, acting like she did this every day.

Mrs. Dove suddenly spotted me and rushed over. "Melanie! I'm so glad to see you. I'm sure you already know Octavia." She nodded her head at Octavia, who was pretending to not know where the little ones were hiding. "It's so lovely to have an extra set of hands on a Wednesday, and the children are very excited to have her here. It's almost like she's one of them! I'm sure you two will work together just fine."

I wasn't sure what to say, so I just nodded dumbly. Fortunately, Mrs. Dove was distracted by some disobedient angel tots and didn't press the matter further.

I wandered over to where the kids were playing, and they all suddenly popped out of their hiding places screaming "Melanie!" I felt a rush of pride, because I still felt like I was the favourite among them, but this was quickly followed by a wave of guilt.

"Hey," I told them. "You're not supposed to come out of your hiding places yet!"

"Yeah, but we wanted to say hi to you," Bluebell told me, shoving her face into mine.  
Octavia was walking over at this point. She was smiling, and it seemed like a genuinely happy smile. When she reached me, she grabbed Bluebell (she was facing away from her at the time), who screamed and then started giggling.

"Hi, Melanie," she said to me.

"Hi," I replied, sounding more annoyed than I meant to.

"Mrs. Dove told me you came here every Wednesday, which is exactly when I'll be coming too." She started bouncing Bluebell on her knee. "I'm glad you're here too, because I'm kind of new at this thing. I don't really understand what I'm supposed to do for private study, so I might as well be helping others learn."

I tried to give an encouraging smile, but I just couldn't help feeling incredibly hurt. I mean, helping out at the nursery was my special thing to do on Wednesday's, it was something that only I did, and now someone else had come along and taken it away.

I felt the hot potato feeling in my chest, which means Helix is trying to communicate. _Is Octavia really taking this away?_ She asked, _or are you just being a spoilt angel?_ Helix was right, of course, but I wasn't willing to admit this. Even though Octavia hadn't meant to hurt me, it still hurt.

Mrs. Dove suddenly appeared. "It's time for art!" She said enthusiastically. All the tots jumped up and rushed off to the art room. By the time Octavia and I got there the kids had already put on their smocks and were splashing paint everywhere. I practically shrieked when a splash of blue paint narrowly missed my new white top. But Octavia just dove straight in, pulling up her sleeves and not bothering to put on a smock.

"Who's got the silver glitter?" she shouted. "I'm going to make a star!" She sat down and Maudie bounced over to her, holding a huge tub of glitter. She flashed Octavia a sweet smile.

"Can I help make a star with you?" she asked sweetly.

"Sure!" Octavia said, and picked up Maudie to put her on the stool next to her. "Should we make lots of little stars, or one big one?"

"Lots of big ones!" Maudie shouted.

"I don't think we have enough paper…"

I got distracted by this conversation when one of the little ones tugged on my leggings. "Can you help me to paint trees?"

"Sure," I said, trying to sound as positive as possible.

The next hour was spent doing all sorts of activities that kept the little ones entertained, so I had no time to mop or feel sorry for myself. When it was time to go, I felt as good as I always did after helping out with the baby angels. I fell down from this high when I realised that Octavia would be walking the whole way back with me, living two doors down.

I decided to make a detour and go to Guru. I felt like one of Mo's special smoothies that instantly gave a hit of energy. Unfortunately, Octavia seemed to think I was her personal assistant or something, because she didn't stop following me. Finally, I couldn't take it any more. I spun around.

"Why are you following me?"

Octavia looked offended. "I thought we could hang out…"

"Well, I don't really feel like hanging out at the moment." I didn't mean to sound mean. Actually, that was a lie. I wanted to be mean; part of me wanted her to just go away. Usually a mission is just something that happened, it becomes my past, history. This one was following me, and I didn't like it.

"Maybe I'll just go then…" Octavia was quite and obviously hurt, but I didn't care.

"Yeah, you go and make your own friends. Stop hanging around me, and stop going to the nursery too. I don't need you, and they don't need you. Just go away."

As soon as I said those words I regretted ever opening my mouth, but it was too late to take them back. Octavia just turned around and ran away. I felt like curling up into a ball and disappearing. I felt like crying. Instead, I turned around and walked into Guru, ordered a strawberry smoothie and sat down.

At that moment, Reuben walked through the door. His face lit up when he saw me, and he rushed over to me. He was still in his dojo gear, and his face was all shiny. He gave me his special Sweetpea smile, and that just finished me off. I put my head on the table and cried.

"What's wrong?" I heard him ask, but I was too hysterical to answer. When Reuben finally got me to calm down, I found myself outside. Reuben had obviously had the tact to bring me outside where I wouldn't cause such a scene. He touched me gently and asked me again what was wrong.

"I've just done something horrible," I said before I started blubbering again.

"Shh," Reuben said, rubbing my back. "What did you do?"

"I- I," I have to take a few deep breaths before I could continue. "I yelled at her."

"Yelled at who?"

"Octavia. I told her to go away. I told her-" I couldn't continue. I was still in hysterics. Reuben just sat there rubbing my back until I completely calmed down. Then he made me face him.

"It's going to be ok," he told me. I shook my head and sniffed, but Reuben wasn't finished. "First, you're going to get a good sleep. And then we're going to find Octavia and apologies. It'll be fine. We just have to give it time." Reuben flashed his Sweetpea smile again, and I couldn't help a little laugh.

Reuben lead me back to my room. When we got there, Lola was waiting outside, obviously stressed. She gave me a desperate look.

"Have either of you seen Octavia?" I looked at Lola.

"What?"

"Nobody can find her anywhere. We've lost her radar in heaven. She's gone."

I couldn't move. I couldn't breath.

I'd sent Octavia out of Heaven.


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry about the short chapter, but I couldn't be bothered doing it as a cut scene... ANYWAY!

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"It's not you're fault."

Reuben kept saying this, but I couldn't believe him. I wouldn't believe him. I'd sent an angel out of heaven. I couldn't believe it.

"How could this happen?" I asked. Brice rolled over.

"It's called falling from grace."

"What?" I didn't feel like fancy angelic terms at the moment. I wanted straight answers.

"It's when an angel leaves heaven," he said, almost as if in pain. "It's what I did."

I looked at him. "Does that mean she's a PODs?"

"Not necessarily. She could've just put herself in back in limbo." Brice rolled back around and watched the ceiling.

I hadn't left the room for a few days now, and Reuben, Brice and Lola were all staying with me. I almost felt like I was in a mental ward, that I had gone insane. I wish I had; then none of this would be happening.

"But she could be a PODs?"

Brice sighed. "Yes, it's possible."

I groaned and curled myself back into a ball.

"It's not you're fault," Lola said for the umpteenth time. I shook my head. Lola took my shoulders and gave me a hard shake. "_Carita_, this is not your fault! Octavia had some serious issues. She was messed up."

"She wouldn't have left if I hadn't shouted at her," I groaned.

"You don't know that, Boo," Lola told me soothingly.

Just then, Orlando came bursting through the door, looking very pale and stricken. He gave me a cold look and then started yelling.

"Why did you send her away?" He yelled. "Of all the stupid things you do, Melanie, this is by far the stupidest. Why would you yell at her? You knew she was in a fragile state! Why did you do it?" All I could do was sit there and sob.

Before anyone could say anything else, Orlando turned and walk out of the room. I felt numb. I couldn't feel anything. I didn't notice that Reuben was holding me, singing to me, until the lyrics really got through. _You're not alone…_

"But Octavia is," I whispered, thinking quickly. "Octavia is alone, and she needs help. We need to go find her!"

"Melanie-" Lola said, but she didn't finish.

"That's what angels do. We find lost souls. We bring them home!" I was feeling quite desperate at this time.

"Babe, you have to settle down. I bet they've already got people out there looking for her," Lola told me.

"But is it enough?" I looked at Lola, then and Brice and Reuben. "We should be out there looking for her too."

I saw from their faces that they didn't know what to say to me. I know now it was because I was too emotionally unstable to go on any sort of mission (like when I skipped off to Egypt right after my upgrade), but at the time I thought they didn't want me to go because they all thought it was my fault. I couldn't blame them, because it WAS my fault. And there was nothing I could do.

"We have to do something,' I said pathetically.

"Mel, I know you think you have to save her because you feel like it was your fault." Lola gave me a stern look as I tried to interrupt her. "No, _carita,_ let me finish. I know you think it's your fault, and you'll keep thinking that even though we keep telling you it's not. But you can't just go out and try to save her based on that fact. You'll be no help at all in the state you're in."

I gave them all a defeated look and then just crumpled again. I was faintly aware of Reuben holding me, but I couldn't deal with it all right now. Despite the fact that I was surrounded by my friends, I felt very alone.


	9. Chapter 9

**Yay! Update!**

**Yeah... sorry about the late update... Still, it continues!  
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Days passed. Maybe it was weeks, or months. Everything was blurred together. I don't know how many classes I missed, but Lola would come in every day and try to convince me to go. But I couldn't. I couldn't face everyone staring at me, blaming me. I couldn't even face myself in the mirror anymore.

Reuben came to visit me all the time. He tried to comfort me. I just ignored him. I didn't deserve to be looked after. But he didn't give up on me.

One day, Lola came bursting into my room, seemingly determined. She opened the blinds, and fresh sunlight streamed into my room. I pulled my sheets up over my head, wishing she would just go away. I don't know what I was thinking. Lola was my soul mate, and all I wanted at that moment was for her to go away, so I could wallow in my self pity. But she didn't leave.

"Wakey-wakey, Mel!" She said in a much too cheery voice.

"Go away," I mumbled back.

"It's a beautiful day outside," she told me. "You don't want to waste it in bed!"

I rolled over so my head was facing the wall.

Lola made her way over to my wardrobe. "No classes today," she said, pulling clothes out of the cupboard. "That means we can do whatever we want."

Lola threw some clothes on my bed.

"So, what do you want to do?"

"Nothing," I said pathetically.

"Well, I need to go shopping. And I need my favourite fashion consultant to come with me. So get up!" Lola literally pulled me out of bed, and I was surprised at her strength. Lola cringed.

"When was the last time you had a shower, _carita_? You stink."

I mumbled something. I'm not even sure what I said.

Lola pushed me towards the bathroom and passed me my towel and clean clothes.

"Hurry up and get ready."

I mechanically washed myself and dressed. I combed my damp hair without even looking in the mirror. When I emerged from the bathroom, Lola gave me a sarcastic look.

"You didn't even wash your hair, Boo."

I stared at my feet.  
Lola stood up and put her hands on her hips.

"Mel, I'm sick of this. I'm sick of your attitude. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself!"

I kept staring at my feet.

"Mel, Look at me!"

I forced myself to look up.

"You haven't been out of this room in over two weeks. I want you to come back, Boo. We all do. We miss you."

Lola hugged me hard. I hugged back.

"Sorry," I whispered into her ear.

"It's ok," She told me. "It'll be ok."

My door opened a crack, and Reuben's head popped in. His face lit up when he saw me.

"Mel!" He cried. "You're out of bed!"

"Yeah," I said, wiping my damp eyes with the back of my sleeve. "I am."

"Well, I brought us all some breakfast from Guru." He dropped a few take-out bags on my bed. "Hope you're all hungry."

"I'm starving," Lola told him.

"I'm not all that hungry. I think I might go for a walk."

Lola gave me a hard look. "Ok, but don't be gone long."

"I won't. See you, guys."

As I walked along the familiar paths, I felt light-headed and weightless, as if the whole experience was a dream. People from school waved at me as they went past. Somehow, I managed to wave back.

Then I tripped on a rock.

I fell hard on the ground. For a second, I was dazed. Then I picked myself up and dusted my clothes off, looking awkwardly around to make sure no-one had been watching.

I kept walking.

I had no idea where I was going, and no idea where I wanted to go. I eventually ended up at the beach. I took my shoes and sock off and stuffed my socks inside my shoes. I walked slowly along the soft, damp sand, watching my foot sink slightly before pulling it out again.

"Hey, Mel!"

I looked up and saw Brice waving a running towards me. He looked strange in a tracksuit and plain undershirt. I gave him a little wave.

"You're up," he said when he was a little closer.

"I am." I gave him a quick once over. "What are you wearing?"

He chuckled. "I know. It's not me. Lola's got me on this health kick. Says I should exercise at least half an hour a day. Bought me this." He pointed to his clothes. "I've been coming down to this part of the beach to run for the past week. Not many people come here, so I figured hardly anyone would see me. What are you doing here?"

"Walking."

"I can see that."

"Am I not allowed to walk here?"

"Of course you are. But this part of the beach is practically deserted. Mostly because the sand is covered with tiny shells. You might want to put your shoes on."

I looked down at my feet. Although they didn't look injured, they had started to hurt. And I mean REALLY hurt! I leaned on Brice while I struggled to put my shoes back on.

"Did you walk all the way here?" He asked me.

"Yes."

"It's a while from campus. It must have taken you a while. I usually catch the bus down to the gym over there." He pointed to a little building off in the distance. "I was just about to head back there when I spotted you."

"Oh." I finished putting my shoes on and stood up. I could feel a shell in my left shoe, so I took it off to shake it out. Brice gave me a concerned look.

"Come on, we can go back and catch a bus back to school."

"Ok." My voice sounded bleak and boring. It reminded me of Honesty, from my first Guardian Angel module. After she lost her dad, she was very bleak and zombie-like.

We walked in silence for a while. I could hear the shells crunching under our shoes. I wondered what time it was, and whether Lola and Reuben were worried about me. After a while, Brice sighed.

"She'll be ok, you know," He told me. "They have agents look for her now, and they think they've almost got her."

My stomach felt cold and rotten.

"She wouldn't even be out there if it wasn't for me."

"She was unstable. You can't blame yourself." He sighed and looked at me. "You remember when you first brought Octavia back? How she was really messed up?"

I nodded, wiping my nose on my sleeve.

"Well, Michael actually brought me back from my mission early to help out with her."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused

"Michael knew that Octavia was messed up bad, and he needed someone with more PODs experience. It's not like he could be there all the time. Orlando and I helped her get out of the Sanctuary. Helped her to figure out some things, talk a bit."

"But you didn't meet her until after she got out of the Sanctuary." I looked at him. He shrugged.

"That's not technically true. Thing is, Octavia was in such a bad state, we had to take desperate measures. Do you remember how she didn't seem to remember much?"

I nodded.

"Well, that's because we made her forget some things."

I looked at him. "Why would you do that?"

"It's was the only option we had. We made her forget a few things, so that we could get her out of the Sanctuary. We had planned for her to have one-on-one sessions with Orlando, so that we could gradually give her memory back and help her deal with it."

"How much did she forget?"

"Well, that was the tricky part. We were just going to block out everything that happened after she died, but Orlando thought that it wouldn't really help. The last thing she remembered before she died was all the horrible thoughts in her head. So we thoughts we'd go back a little further. But…" Brice trailed off.

"But?" I looked at him, feeling anger growing inside me. "How much did she forget?"

"Almost everything."

"What?" I stared at him.

"Well, she knows that she used to live on earth, but most of her memories are hazy."

"Is that why she didn't remember us saving her?" I had gabbed Brice's wrist and was practically shaking it off.

"Well, yes. We weren't going to block out everything, but it seems she wanted to block out as much as she could. And unblocking her memory hasn't been as easy as all that."

"So she doesn't remember anything?"

"Actually, we suspect now she remembers everything."

"But you just said she forgot everything." I was basically screaming at him.

"Calm down, ok?"

"Sorry." I looked at my shoes, instantly ashamed.

"When you… got upset at her… something you said must have triggered something in her. I think she got all her memory back at once. I think that's why she fell from grace. She would have been so confused."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" I whispered harshly.

"It was confidential. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone." He kicked one of the larger shells along.

"Then why are you telling me now?"

"Michael thought you needed to hear it. He thinks I'm right about the memory thing, and you needed to know why she was so upset. It wasn't all your fault."

"But she would have been fine if I hadn't said anything!"

"She was a confused girl, Mel! She was going to break down sooner or later. I just wish someone was around so that she didn't do this. Besides, blaming yourself isn't going to solve anything."

"I still shouldn't have done it," I muttered.

"And I shouldn't have become a dark angel. But these things happen and you get over it."

I nodded. Brice sighed again.

"Come on, let's get back to school."

Brice had a quick shower and changed his clothes before we caught the bus back to campus. When we there, Lola rushed up to hug me.

"Oh, I was so worried, Boo. You were gone for so long."

"Was I?" I felt light-headed and dream-like again.

Reuben had a grim look on his face. Brice waltzed up to him. "What happened?"

"Orlando got back. He's not in a good way."

"Where did Orlando go?" I asked dreamily.

"He went to look for Octavia," Lola told me. Reuben nodded.

"And she attacked him."

* * *

**Oooooo! Evil Octavia! Now, what will happen next?**


End file.
